A beach junkie – who can’t swim

I am terrified of the water. Which to all my friends seem pretty ironic if not idiotic because I am drawn to beaches. Local or international – I don’t care. Just bring me to a nice white pristine sand-laden beach surrounded by nice restaurants. As stated in my requirements, it would be no coincidence that my idea of a perfect beach is Boracay. I know, it’s culturally filthy, swarming with local wannabee posers (yes these guys are complete social climbers that I had to use 2 synonymous words), and over-taken by old dodgy foreigners (lately, these old pinay stalkers have been replaced with throngs of unbelievably loud Koreans – which makes me think of just settling with the oldies) but the ease by which the colors of the sea merge from light green to blue to dark blue and back to light sea green again is a phenomenon I have not seen in other beaches ( and I obviously suck at descriptive fiction writing).

The most common question I get about my phobia aside from the statement disguised in a form of a question “how can anyone not know how to swim?” is “ so what is it exactly that you do you when you go to the beach?” I sit in silence and smile at the vast glory of the ocean. Really. I can do it for hours. Well, being a massive day dreamer helps.

I bought my very own cliché-inspired black book in 2010. The first page of my must-accomplish list was reserved for “learning how to ride a bike” (which shall be the next subject of my affection), the second, as was prophesied, was “learning how to swim without the simulation of drowning”.  A lot of people have given me random unwarranted advice about swimming, 2 of my exes have tried teaching me in a pool with no success and so when my friends and I were lounging at the luxurious (yes, I had to add that word) Le Soleil de Boracay swimming pool, I was not prepared for one of the biggest surprises of this year. I learned how to transfer from one end of the pool to the middle (no, not the other end just yet) without the use of my feet! I learned how to swim in 15 minutes!

Now, all I need to do next is try my luck in the adult pool and I should be good.